What Will the Landlord Do?

The super is no help. The patch tests are hard at work. What's next?

This is where the landlord enters, our very brand new management company called Westminster, owned by Mr. Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner himself. Well, he's not the guy sitting in the office renting 400 square foot apartments for $4000, but he's in charge, somewhere, somehow. And their office is conveniently located just downstairs from The Smell. Downstairs we go, and upstairs we come with our guy, the one we will be watching closely here, to see if this blog has a good or bad outcome. Jordan is our guy and he's going to fix it all.

He sniffs and smells and thinks it smells like mothballs. This is a new description, one we hadn't hit upon. Mothballs. We have no mothballs. We have a lot of cedar things in our drawers and closets, but no mothballs. Could mothballs have secretly been planted somewhere? Jared leaves and asks us to keep him updated on the patch tests, of which he is skeptical. So am I, but I don't tell him that.

He leaves, promising that on Monday he'll call a plumber, since that seems to be the best expert he can think of. I don't tell him that there are no pipes anywhere nearby, so how is a plumber going to help, but I figure we'll ride this one out and see.